Stop

So this time, I tried finding an image first. It certainly took me to a different place, and I enjoyed that aspect. Unfortunately, it was harder to do. I felt like I needed to do more research to make the piece real. I needed to walk in the footsteps of my character more, and that made me a little sad. It made me feel like my imagination was limited in some way, and I am not sure I have ever felt that way. I’ve always been happy that if I worked at it, I could turn a classroom into a garden. I could imagine myself somewhere completely different, and it would be vivid enough to actually make me feel the weather, and make my nose remembers the scents of the area. I did this a lot when I was in “Equus” as a horse. I would work throughout the show to “be the horse” imagining my body as big as a horse, smelling the hay of the stable, seeing the sunset, feeling the wind, etc. I guess that part is in this piece, but the character is not.

10 minute experiment

I stepped out of his truck, and into the cold street without recognizing the moment for what it was. The warm cabin of my father’s truck, the last time I would feel any warmth from my home. The sidewalk was solid, and I felt the tiny jagged edges from the cracks attempt to puncture the weak sole of my shoe. It hurt, but it was manageable. It was physical, and I knew there were ways to stop that pain.

The warmth of that ride, was one I had taken for granted. I had not anticipated the numerous nights on the street, where I would will my mind to remember the way it felt. The smell the old dodge heater gave off, the heat almost too dry, an overcompensating comfort. My mind would reach out, and gather the memories of warmth, and then I would stop. I had to stop remembering it, to stop thinking about that night.

I was lucky my first night. I was clean, innocent, and just looked lost. No one knew I didn’t have a home. People gave me sympathy, and offered me help. That offer became less frequent as the weeks went on, as my clothes rotted away, as my homelessness began to show.

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1 Comment

  1. kyoske said,

    August 4, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    I’m sorry I have no idea what this comment means:

    “I’m gonna steal your pic to used it on a Hobo RP my friend made! Hehe”


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