I thought writing was hard….but then I began to edit

So, I’m happy to report that for the moment I am no longer bummed about the Rolling Stone article. Unfortunately, my spirits are not as high as usual. A few lawyer job prospects that showed promise, fizzled out, leaving me with nothing to do but search and edit. Neither of which are enjoyable, and oddly enough, it is for the same reason. In editing, I am no longer thrilled by the exploration of what my story is, rather I am refining the tale. Now, some changes are going to be made, new things written,  but a lot of it is more about reshaping the heavy blocks of text into something beautiful. There is art in this, but it is not particularly fun, and few people are able to see it to appreciate it. However, now that I have the story, I’m wanting to craft my words to tell it well, in the hope that when I send it to a book agent, I will get an agent who loves it, who can get it published and promoted like a real book.  Job hunting is the same, I’m crafting cover letters, in the hopes that I can convince them to take a chance on me, so I can get a real job.

Unfortunately, both a really isolating. Whenever I send a resume, or post something to the website I made for the book, I want to hear from everyone! I want to be overwhelmed with a response, but that desire is just not realistic. So a lot of it is telling myself to be patient, which is advice I’ve given lately, but is much harder to take than to give. Hopefully, this is just a slump, but I never knew editing would hurt so much. Most writers discuss editing as a thing they do for their agent or publisher, which I think is easier to handle. I mean, that means someone is interested already. For first-time novelists, that lack of interest/support is really deadly.

In short: Editing seems harder than job hunting.

I have made plans to treat tomorrow as a new day, and change up my morning. Lately, I’ve felt I’ve wasted my mornings, and now I plan to make better use of them!

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2 Comments

  1. Rachael said,

    February 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I’m reading Delirium and in there a character said, “If you don’t feel the pain, you won’t know joy.” This is going to be painful, but with each day it does get a tiny bit easier, I promise. Just think that when an agent says, yes, how deliriously happy you will be.

    • kyoske said,

      February 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

      Yeah, that is the goal I am writing toward. It is just hard, because at this point, there is still a technical danger that my novel could never see the light of day. Although, I guess, I know that if I get rejected by the agents I’ve already selected, I will self-publish. So…there is that.


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