Where should I be?

So yesterday I had a full blown Diva moment, in the form of a pity party. I’m not proud of this, and am happy to report, today I am happy and back on track. But….this blog shouldn’t just be me asking questions and being nice. I think it is okay for me to demonstrate how flawed I am. Why was I upset? I got rejected for a job interview….again. I kept thinking: “If I was auditioning, and they said no, I wouldn’t care. I mean…directors have ideas on how a person looks or sounds.” but I wasn’t auditioning, I was applying. Although Television might want us to believe all lawyers look a certain way (another reason to watch Drop Dead Diva) they don’t. The only thing most lawyers have in common, is that they usually are dressed in a suit.

So when they said “no thanks” after an interview I was certain I nailed (I am charming after all) I was crushed. I wanted to do something drastic, but thankfully I didn’t. I am certain partially because I had no idea what I could do. It’s not like if I walked back into their highly secure office, I could do anything. So I got in my rented car and made my way to a coffee shop. I moped, instead of editing, and basically lost a day.

Part of me expected people to psychically (or through very intense facebook screening) know I had been wronged, and reach out to me. The other part of me didn’t want to talk to anyone, and was glad most people had lives. I guess yesterday I failed at being a good role model, but acknowledging it here, makes me hope that I will be better at keeping it together. That way, when someone needs one, or is bothering to look, they will see the artist and not the diva.






  1. Melanie said,

    February 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I had a day like that yesterday. It’s ok to indulge that side every now and then, but then it’s “back on that horse” and you sell yourself to 50 more places. Job hunting sucks.

  2. Love said,

    February 16, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    So sorry I didn’t get a chance to say this yesterday, but you are utterly fabulous and very truly loved. I’m always in your corner, darling. ❤

  3. kyoske said,

    February 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Melanie: Yes it sucks, but honestly. I think what annoyed me, was that I was stupid enough to hope I’d get it. Sometimes writing about dreams coming true, makes it hard to be a realist.

    Margaret: You’re busy =) Don’t apologize. But thanks. As I said, today is a better day.

  4. February 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Just getting an interview is hard, especially in this market. I know that doesn’t make you feel better now, but interviewing is good practice.

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